The $$ Game: How To Change Your Relationship To Money
this blog post is part of a series, #oneblogpostaday.
the first part of this series is focused on consciousness + giving back.
Money is a weird thing to talk about.
Everyone has different stories around it. Some of us have been told that it doesn’t matter - we don’t need it to live a happy life. Others of us have been led to believe that we need to get as much of it as we can in order to be “successful.”
Either way, our stories around money aren’t usually something that we confront. We grow up and begin questioning our relationships, our versions of success…but never our fears + desires around money.
It wasn’t something I thought about much until recently, either. I thought that my perception of money was quite healthy - I didn’t obsess about it but always had “enough.” I wanted to be successful (i.e. “rich”), but knew that I wouldn’t sacrifice my happiness and values for it.
…Or so I thought.
It wasn’t until I began working for myself and had to truly confront what I believed to be my value - when I began to unravel all those stories I had been telling myself about what I was capable of when it came to $$. And what I really feared about it (anyone else have a panic attack when they open their bank account?!).
Because, as we learned about in this post - we have been told all these things about money (and confidence and success) before we even knew what to believe. Sometimes, these stories are passed down from generation to generation without questioning them.
And now it’s up to you to decide what you’re capable of - when it comes to money, value and worth.
Because - not to sound all hippy dippy - money is simply energy. It’s a neutral force in our lives that we can either attract or push away. We are all capable of mastering the money mindset - and putting those fears around bank accounts + loans + savings to bed.
Here’s how to start.
Notice how you feel about $$
When you take a step back and really think about it: what is your gut reaction when you hear the word, money?
Does it stress you out? Excite you? Not make you feel…anything?
Have you always been told that more money means your greedy? That there’s a limit to how much you could have?
Take a little while to journal and reflect on your relationship with money. Understand where it’s origin comes from. Were you told or given cues as a little kid that make you feel the way you do right now?
Don’t worry - this phase isn’t about doing anything. Just noticing. Simply understanding how you feel and what the history is - so that we can work to change it.
Do some personal investigating
Now that you have a clear vision of how you feel about money - let’s see what you do in action.
For the next week, take notice of how you act around money. Are you often the one paying for friends and feel awkward asking for their share? Do you spend little during the week but splurge on the weekends? Do you hate checking your bank account, or obsessively look every day?
Keep a record of how you act around money. At the end of the week, notice how this aligns with your feelings + stories you reflected on earlier.
Know that mindset = power
Now that you’ve done some personal investigating - it’s time to set some goals.
How do you want to feel around money in the future? What might you try and let go of?
The most helpful mindset shift for me was when I began to view money as neutral - not bad or good. When I shifted my mindset to just see it as a mechanism, a tool, I stopped needing it or pushing it away. I began to view it as an infinite resource - something that’s constantly flowing to me or away from me; and not worrying that I have too much or too little.
This ultimately helped me strengthen my worth. Since I viewed money as an infinite resource - I stopped caring about how I would get it. I stood strong in my power and knew that as long as I believed it would flow; it would.
Trust that sharing is caring
The interesting part about money that we don’t often talk about is hoarding it. Once we have it, we want to save and scrounge it.
But, the more I began experimenting and reading about money manifestation - the more than I realized investing in ourselves provides signs to The Universe (or whatever you dudes want to call it) that we’re ready to level the f*ck up.
In regular person terms this means: don’t feel scared of spending. If we continue to hold all of our money to our chest - we forget that $$ is just a tool. An infinite resource that will continue to flow our way.
But, if we invest and share and spend as freely as we’d like - it will continue to come towards us. For example - I held off for so long on spending money on a coach for myself. I kept thinking it was too much money to spend on me; I could do it on my own.
I kept getting all these signs to just freakin’ go for it, but I didn’t want to let go of the $$ (hundreds of dollars?! how can I do that?). Finally, I did the damn thing and it was like the Universe was just waiting for me to commit to myself - tons of clients + opportunities + cool stuff began to flow my way.
This is just a small example of sharing that it’s okay (and good) to share the wealth. To invest in you. To know that $$ is infinite + neutral + a tool to help us grow.
Does this resonate with you? Have you ever tried changing your relationship with $$? How did it feel?