King’s 3 Daily Rituals: (1) Workout in the AM, (2) Write poetry, (3) Research her craft
King has an infectious energy that hits you the moment she begins to speak.
So infectious, in fact, it makes you wonder — do all people make you feel this alive?
No. Definitely not. King has something special.
And although King has had her share of struggles in her twenty-two years of life, her demeanor gives no hint. With a quick laugh, she explains a time when she was a homeless, mentally ill teenager as a mere blimp in her life — truly giving meaning to the phrase “don’t let your past define you.”
That being said, of course King attributes some of her current successes, like being an acclaimed slam poetry artist and member of a budding band to the moments of hardship she’s experienced. But no, they were never a reason to hold her back.
More like a reason to push her forward.
At the age of twenty-two, King is ready. After a rush of recognition when her poetry became popular, she took time to reflect on who she is, and who she wants to be. She hibernated. And now, she is about to take the world by storm.
In our short time together, King taught me so much about finding You, being patient, and owning everything in your life.
So, how do you find patience in the process of finding your real self?
Choose to communicate
“I’m really big on communication.”
Well of course, as a poet and a musician — communication comes naturally to King. But, she doesn’t mean you have to be all fancy and shit.
First, communicate with yourself. “Compartmentalizing feelings is easy. I used to do it all the time. But now, if I feel something uncomfortable, I have a ‘conversation’ with myself. ‘I’m like okay sadness, I realize you’re here.’ I acknowledge it.”
That’s hard to do.
It’s so much easier to push away feelings. To pretend you’re always happy. To realize that you’re feeling something really shitty, but never ever acknowledge it.
“If you’ve never done this, you’re going to have a lot of baggage. That’s why people avoid it — it’s intimidating.”
But honestly, it feels so much better. Start small. If your roommate left all their dirty dishes in the sink again, let that frustration rise up in your chest. Feel it. Acknowledge it. And, it will go away.
And, while communicating with yourself is the first step — hearing feedback from others takes it to another level.
“Listen, I like it when people tell me things about myself I would have never known. I don’t get defensive. I just say okay, let’s talk about it.”
Because, Your People are always looking out for you. They see things that you may not. So don’t hate them for telling you that your outfit looks weird. Or your boyfriend is a fun-sucker. Ask them why they think so — and put it into action.
Of course, with all of this communication it’s key to trust yourself. “I can ask for advice from 25 people, but at the end of the day, only I know me.”
Talking to yourself isn’t crazy. It’s actually one of the most sane things you can do.
Own all of it
As humans, especially in the day & age of Facebook, we only like to show our Best Selves to the world.
King doesn’t believe in that.
“The night I got selected to go to the National Poetry Slam, I was really honest — which was ironic. I had just gotten out of rehab and I had nothing new; I was trying to keep myself afloat for the past 6 months. But, I went to the slam and I spoke from my heart. I was honest. I realized that I needed to own everything — positive and negative.”
Because, we just want to relate to others. We ache to hear the Raw. The Honest. The Real.
Being real with yourself, and with those around you is refreshing. We don’t get enough of it anymore.
Of course, that’s not to say that you should be complaining about every shitty moment in your life — but, don’t sugar coat it.
We all know what’s up. If you communicate with yourself, and you own everything that’s You — good and bad — you start to realize what you’re really meant to do.
Be patient with the process
King’s biggest piece of advice to Us is to “be patient with the process. Because, every terrible thing that’s happened to me has ended up becoming something beautiful.”
Of course, King isn’t saying that all the really shitty things that happened to her are okay. They aren’t. But, they made her who she is Right Now. She owns them. And, they’ve opened up doors she would have never been exposed to.
A couple of years ago, King went through some serious shit. She used poetry as her healing mechanism — and after sharing her work, it put the wheels in motion. She found her calling. From the terrible — became the beautiful.
“Listen, we get so wrapped up in the details, and miss the fact that things come full circle. You don’t have to do everything today. I mean — I’ve been in hibernation for the past few months. Of course I see other people putting out work and I’m like, ‘Why am I not doing that?’ But then I remember, this is my process. This is how things work for me.”
We all have to get into our own process, our own groove. It’s easy to get caught up in what others do — but hibernation is okay.
Look at King now. She’s on fire.
She listened to herself. She respected her process.
Let’s take that as a reminder.